


Thank You

by satiredichotomy



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-11-30
Updated: 2001-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 18:22:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12870363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satiredichotomy/pseuds/satiredichotomy
Summary: Daniel worries about the stability of his relationship with Jack.





	Thank You

He stood, slightly apart from the rest, whilst still maintaining the illusion that he was 'with' them. Cautious eyes roamed through the cemetery, hiding the anger and pain within their depths. A lone figure caught his attention. She walked slowly, her gait long and smooth, her shaking hands making him wince in sympathy. She'd spoken the eulogy. Her given name eluded him, as she'd always been known to him as Captain Hallgrimson. He watched as she gazed at them, talking softly among themselves. She headed in their general direction, then kept on going past them, to sink down onto the empty, damp bench.

He knew she blamed them. No one in particular, just 'them' in general. He wanted to shake her shoulders, make her understand just how much he was hurting too - she wasn't alone in this. After all that had happened, it was he who was in the more perilous position.

That man shouldn't have died. He had done nothing wrong. They said 'these things happen' and that it was 'damned regretful' but they didn't do anything. The truth, in simple, black and white terms, was the one they strove to hide. It wasn't a hit-and-run. It wasn't due to dangerous driving. He was a homosexual. They had a problem with that. So now the problem was gone.

And it scared Daniel shitless. As he watched Captain Hallgrimson, her head bowed, hands still shaking, he realised that she had probably been one of the first to know about her CO's sexual orientation. He'd never had the opportunity to get to know any of SG-4 particularly well, but he distinctly remembered Jack complaining about how Major Barry had gotten to choose his 2IC. It was only when Daniel had reminded Jack what a wonderful team he had now, that he had admitted he might've been in the wrong. To prove how happy he was with the General's choice for his team, he'd taken them all out. Daniel smiled sadly as he recalled that night, SG-1 getting drunk, except for Teal'c, of course. They'd had so much fun ...

That was before things had gotten complicated, of course. Before he and Jack had gotten involved. And now things had gotten even more complicated with the death of Barry. Jack had left the service immediately, to drive Sam home, who was obviously upset although she'd never show it in public. Daniel had opted to stay. He knew Jack wouldn't return, and he wouldn't invite Daniel over to his place - at least, not in words. At work, Jack was spending more time with their teammates, especially Sam. It was almost amusing, the conclusions everyone jumped to about that. Almost. If only everyone knew the real reason they were keeping their distance . The strain of hiding their relationship in the past was nothing compared to what they had to worry about now.

Shaking his head slightly to stop himself from going too far down that road, he focused on Hallgrimson again. Sighing quietly, he knew he had to do something to console her. No one else was going near her. He'd heard talk after the accident, about how Hallgrimson was a lesbian, and that's why she'd been such good friends with Barry in the first place. Daniel had wanted to ask what was wrong with that, but knew that he had to keep his mouth shut. For his sake, but more importantly, for Jack's sake.

But he couldn't just leave her there, alone ...

As he walked the few steps to the bench, he saw her look up, but remain silent.

He had no idea what to say.

There was a pause, until he opened his mouth and said the first thing that came into his mind.

"You don't have to stay all by yourself, you know."

"Considering that's what I've been doing all day and for practically all of my life, I might as well stay that way. You don't need to stay here with me," came the trembling retort. As he gazed down at her, still sitting, but not making room for him to join her, he noticed that her hands were still shaking.

And now that Daniel had gotten her to respond to him, he couldn't think of what to say next. He was surprised at the level of emotion she'd given in her reply. Thanks to Sam, he was fully aware about how 'emotionally involved' the military was expected to be. He could clearly picture her face when Cassie had been brought into the SGC from Hanka, and how she had apologised for getting too emotionally involved. It had been a rare event. Somehow, he knew the same would go for Hallgrimson. Daniel couldn't let this opportunity go to waste, if he could help her...

"You don't really mean that." He kept his voice steady; it was a fact, not a question.

She paused this time, as if gauging how much to trust him; how far to let him in. "You're right, I don't. But I don't want you to stay and keep me company because you feel obligated to, just because I'm having a bad day and am completely depressed, due to the death of one of my closest friends."

That he could identify with. He didn't say a word, and didn't even try to think of a suitable reply. He just stood there, waiting for her to understand that he was not going anywhere.

And so they remained, for a full minute. She finally looked up at him, with a 'are you still here?' look on her face. He held her gaze. She blinked, and he saw her eyes almost imperceptibly soften. She shifted over on the bench, and he sat. As he gazed over the cemetery once more, he realised that almost everyone had left, save for a couple of people still paying their respects to the departed Major Barry.

"You know, we don't have any civilians on our team. I'm not used to this ... talking ... thing. So don't expect me to start rambling on about my feelings, okay?" She kept her head down, staring at her still trembling hands.

He smiled slightly and said, "okay." He placed one of his hands on hers, keeping them still. "I'm not trying to be your shrink, you know. Just if you ever need a friend ... "

She glanced sharply at him, as if unsure about the sincerity of his offer. She laughed ruefully and stared into the distance. "Yeah, I could do with a friend."

Hallgrimson stopped to take a breath, and then continued, her hand still in Daniel's. "I had one really good friend. We'd been friends for, oh, I don't know, five years or so. Got to be ... better friends ... almost two years ago now. After this accident, she decided it would be best if she left town. Didn't want things to be taken the wrong way. Didn't want to jeopardise my career." She laughed harshly. "Despite the fact that she had no idea what I really did for a living."

Daniel closed his eyes, the thought of this woman's pain going straight to his heart and making it bleed. He honestly didn't know what he would do if he lost Jack now. And they had only been together for a couple months ...

Her tone softened, as she reminisced. "Funny, how easily things get taken away from you. A couple weeks ago, I remember thinking how lucky I was, to have such a good friend and CO in Matthew Barry. I had another wonderful friend in the woman I just told you about, Leona. My job was amazing, had a nice house, the works. And now ... Matt's dead, Leona's left and everyone at the SGC avoids me like the plague."

"Not everyone," Daniel interjected.

She looked at him, a genuine smile lighting her features. "No, not everyone. But trust me, you don't want to associate yourself too much with me in the days to follow. There's going to be lots of people who are going to want to know if there are more like Matt in the SGC. And despite the fact that you probably have nothing to hide, I'm willing to bet that certain sections of the military would easily plant evidence to get rid of a few civilians. Hell, they probably wouldn't even bother with that - they'd just run you over like they did Matt. Don't make yourself an easy target."

He stayed silent, replaying her words silently in his head. *... probably have nothing to hide ...* He unconsciously clenched his teeth, as he alone knew exactly how much he had to hide.

She rose gracefully, gently tugging her hand out of his. "I'd better get to the wake. They're probably wondering what happened to me." They both knew that was a lie, but he dredged up a smile, and watched as she headed off to her car. As he heard the motor start he looked down at his hands, in a gesture identical to the one she made earlier, and saw they were shaking.

* * *

  
Five minutes later, he hadn't so much as moved. Her words had affected him more than he would like to have admitted. He knew there was a danger, a risk, which was much increased to the one before. But when he'd sat down and talked to Jack, it had felt like Jack was getting overprotective, doing the usual mother-hen deal and was generally overreacting. Daniel had thought that if they just kept on doing what they did before, with just a bit more discretion, things would be fine. The situation would blow over and everything would get back to normal -- whatever that meant.

However, after hearing Hallgrimson's words of advice, he was getting worried. What if Jack hadn't been overreacting before? What if Jack had been expressing the least of his concerns, as a sort of warm up? What if Jack was going to tell him that the risk was too great for the both of them, that they couldn't risk their position at the SGC when they were both needed so much, and that they should break up?

Oh God.

He couldn't do that.

The mere thought of losing Jack made his eyes start to water, and he unconsciously stood up, heading for his car. He had to get to Jack, make him understand that what they had was special -- true meaning of life stuff -- they couldn't break it apart. As he sat in his car, he chuckled as he realised how apropos the analogy was. Teal'c had attempted to blast the device generating the light show on Ernest's planet apart with his staff weapon, but it didn't even affect it. Like the light show, they wouldn't -- couldn't -- be broken apart. Now if only Jack would see it that way too ...

He drove like a maniac, his vision blurred, as he didn't even attempt to wipe the moisture from his eyes. As he finally made it to Jack's house, it occurred to him that this wasn't exactly being discreet. In fact, Jack would probably have a fit that Daniel came over so soon after all that had happened. He sat in the driveway for a couple of seconds, contemplating the thought of leaving, and then rejecting the idea. He could come back later as he knew deep down that Jack wasn't going to leave him - but what Daniel really needed was to hear Jack say that. He knew that he had to tackle this head-on, or he and Jack really would be in trouble. If they couldn't be honest one another, then what was the point of living a lie to have this?

Daniel walked up to the door and rang the doorbell, heart pounding. Moments later, the door was flung open, revealing his lover wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Daniel had never seen a more beautiful sight in his life. A week ago, he would've strode in the door, slammed it shut, and done Jack right there against the door. A part of him felt like doing that right now, but a greater part of him was worried that Jack would push him away, and tell him that it was 'time to have another talk'. So he stood, waiting for Jack to make the first move.

Two harrowing seconds later, Jack moved inside, giving a tacit invitation. Daniel nodded his thanks and walked in, taking nothing for granted.

Behind him, Jack cleared his throat. "You shouldn't have come over so soon."

Daniel turned around, back against the sofa. "I needed to see you."

"Daniel..."

"I know. We've talked about this. I just ... needed to see you." Daniel blushed at his inanity and ducked his head slightly. He saw Jack's face dissolve into a slightly smug smile, a smaller relative of the smug post-coital grin.

"Okay. You've seen me," Jack replied, and Daniel could hear the smile in his voice. "Does that mean you're going now?"

Daniel shook his head slightly. "Actually, I'm just going to go take a piss." He gestured vaguely in the direction of the bathroom and took off.

Jack couldn't help smiling at Daniel's antics, and sat down on the sofa. He knew Daniel must have had another reason for coming over, and he was willing to bet that more than anything, Daniel needed some TLC. Daniel's problem was that he was still too hesitant to ask Jack for anything. Still too afraid that he would be turned away. Jack had been trying hard to remedy the situation, but given their current state of affairs, he supposed it was no wonder that Daniel was afraid of being left out in the cold. But Jack was more than willing to prove that theory wrong, in so many different ways.

When Daniel walked back into the room, Jack patted the spot on the sofa next to him, inviting Daniel to sit. Daniel all but collapsed down. Jack took in Daniel's formal suit, and decided that would have to go. While there was no worry about getting naked now, despite it being the middle of the day in the living room with the curtains open, since his house had a high fence and sheltering trees, he wanted to relocate to a more comfortable location.

Jack shifted a bit, a plan forming in his mind. He turned Daniel around, so that he was lying in Jack's arms and eased off his suit jacket. He started giving Daniel a gentle massage, which became a bit more forceful once he felt the tight knot of muscles, which gave away how tense Daniel was. When he paused to shift his position slightly, Daniel let out a slight moan of disappointment and Jack smiled. The plan was working ... time to move to step two ...

"Why don't we go to the bedroom, Danny? You could change into some of my sweats ... or something ... " he purposely let his voice taper off, leaving Daniel to fill in the other possibilities. When he got a firm nod in response, Jack carefully stood up, and then slid his hand into Daniel's to walk to the bedroom.

"Something," Daniel said firmly.

Jack chuckled, as he gently squeezed Daniel's hand. Jack knew that Daniel loved stuff like that -- romantic dinners, long kisses, holdiing hands. The kind of thing they didn't have the opportunity to do anywhere but here or Daniel's place.

In the bedroom, Jack let go of Daniel's hand and closed the blinds. He saw that Daniel had taken his shoes and socks off, and paused for a second to admire his lover's beautiful feet. Then he silently admonished himself, and thought *time for that later*. As he watched Daniel unbutton his shirt, he carefully insinuated himself in front of Daniel and offered his services.

* * *

  
Usually Daniel hated making other people do things for him. But, in contrast, he loved watching Jack undress him, his calloused fingers carefully undoing every button, making every effort to be gentle and loving. When he'd first starting seeing Jack, he had no idea what to expect from a homosexual relationship. He'd wondered if they would just concentrate on the sex aspect of things and leave the more romantic area aside. In the beginning, that was how it had been. Then, one night, he'd confessed how much he liked the simpler, more romantic aspects of being in love, and since then Jack had been more than willing to comply, and try out different things.

He smiled at the memory of having a romantic, home-cooked dinner with Jack, on Valentine's Day. It wasn't until that night that Daniel realised just how much he loved that man. Jack was willing to do anything for him, and that kind of love had shocked him so much -- he had no idea what to do or say.

Daniel jumped out of his reverie when Jack made little noises indicating that he should raise his foot to remove his clothes. A few moments later, Daniel was completely naked.

"Lie down," Jack instructed, gesturing towards the bed.

Daniel smiled knowingly, and moved towards the bed, then stopped, looking at Jack with a critical eye. "Should you really be allowed to wear so many clothes in the bedroom? Doesn't seem fair ..." his voice trailed off suggestively.

Jack chuckled and removed his own clothing in record time. "Better?"

"Oh, much." Daniel arranged himself carefully so that he could take advantage of the view.

Jack then moved forward and began his assault on Daniel, starting by kissing his forehead, then moving down the side of his face and nibbling on his ear. Daniel moaned his approval and reached up to thread his fingers through Jack's hair.

Jack finally left the ear to move on down to Daniel's neck, where there were more than a few erogenous zones. Daniel's uneven breathing and sudden gasps let him know exactly when he'd found one. Smiling at his victory, he kept on going, working his way down to Daniel's nipples. Worrying each one in his mouth, he finally left them to move lower. He reached Daniel's navel, and dipped his tongue in, loving the sounds Daniel made when he was aroused. Jack kept on moving, ignoring his cock, standing erect and proud and demanding attention. He kissed the inside of Daniel's thigh, and made his way down his lovers body right to his perfect feet, where he suckled each toe individually.

He kissed his way back up the other leg, right up to nibble at the other ear and finally broke off to kiss Daniel's perfect mouth. As tongues battled, Jack reached for the lube in the night table. When he was about to run out of oxygen, he broke off the kiss, and whispered "I love you."

Daniel gazed back at him, blue eyes afire, and repeated the words back to him. "I love you."

Jack had managed to get the lube warmed and onto his fingers by this time, and immediately made his way back down Daniel's body where he tongued his balls. As Daniel gasped and writhed, Jack slid a finger into him, which elicited an enthusiastic response. Jack grinned, and slid another finger into him. His tongue abandoned Daniel's balls and softly slid over the head of his cock. Jack decided he'd done enough teasing, and pushed a third finger in, whilst simultaneously engulfing Daniel's penis.

Daniel was incoherent, his mind lost, as he gave over to the incredible sensations wracking his body. He shifted slightly, and his lover's fingers grazed his prostate, once, twice ... and he was gone, floating into the abyss.

* * *

  
When he came to, he found himself being cuddled by Jack. He smiled, relaxing into his lover's embrace, and wondered what the guys at the SGC would think if they could see this hardened USAF Colonel hugging him.

The thought of the guys at the SGC reminded him of all that had happened, and he immediately tensed up.

"Danny? What's wrong?" came the worried query.

Daniel rolled over, so that he was facing Jack. The sound of Jack's voice, so concerned, and the proof that he wasn't going to leave Daniel was almost too much to bear, and he started trembling violently.

"Whoa, Danny, calm down." Jack placed one arm on his back and stroked, whilst enveloping him in a full-body embrace. "Shh ... now tell me what's wrong, slowly."

Daniel lay quiet for a long time, reluctant to talk, then realised it wasn't fair to Jack to keep silent. This affected them both equally. Grimly, he told Jack the whole story, right from the conversation with Hallgrimson, despite Don't Ask Don't Tell, to when he was sitting in Jack's driveway.

When he'd finished telling the story, he almost immediately began apologising for doubting Jack.

"Okay, stop right there," Jack interjected. "First of all, Daniel, I am sorry that Captain Hallgrimson's friend decided to leave her, but I am not Hallgrimson's friend. I'm your lover, and I'm not going anywhere. It doesn't matter what happens, and if the only option we're left with is retirement, then that's what I'll be doing. But I am not leaving you. Got it? Not an option." Daniel remained silent for a moment, just letting the words play through his mind, and smiled, comforted by the sound of the words.

"Second of all, you don't need to apologise for doubting our relationship. To tell you the truth, the thought of breaking it off did occur to me, but then I realised that I wouldn't be able to function properly without you, so there was really no point." A small smirk crossed Jack's features as he saw Daniel blush, and he continued.

"Finally, Daniel, I'm never than one hundred percent honest with you at all times. If I did want to break up, I would've said so from the beginning, okay? And I hope that goes for you, too. If there's anything you want me to know, just say it. All right?"

Daniel was silent for a moment, but Jack could tell that the tension in his body was gone. "All right. I'm sorry, Jack, I didn't mean --"

"Ah!! And no more apologising, Doctor Jackson! You didn't do anything wrong, so let's just leave it at all, okay?"

Daniel laughed ruefully. "Okay. I just have to say this one thing: thank you."

"For what?"

"For saying all that and meaning it too." He looked down for a second, and then looked up again, into his lovers' chocolate brown eyes. "And now that we got that over with, I think I had a debt to repay ... "

His voice faded away as he leaned forward, cupped Jack's face and kissed him deeply.

"Oh, I think I'm going to like this," Jack responded as Daniel began his mock revenge attack.


End file.
